Here "Wii" Go Again ...

Time for more potshots at the new moniker for Nintendo's next-gen console:

• The number of calls to Nintendo Tech Support is expected to drop dramatically ... as no man wants to admit his "Wii" is broken.
  
• BREAKING NEWS: Nintendo has announced that Jenna Jameson and Ron Jeremy have agreed to be the new spokespeople for the Nintendo "Wii" system.
  
• Addressing early problems with the system's online component, technicians admit that "What Wii have here is a failure to communicate."
  
• After discovering the jokes being made at its expense, Nintendo decrees that "Wii are not amused"
  
• Once the system runs its course, shipping of the consoles will not stop. Inventories will be "Wiined" down instead of simply being jacked off the shelves.
  
• Much like the Xbox 360 did on MTV, Nintendo's new system will debut on ABC's The View, prompting Barbara Walters to call the console "Wiily wiily interesting."
  
• MORE BREAKING NEWS: Ron Jeremy has asked to be let out of his spokesman contract with Nintendo, stating that he can't associate himself with a "Wii" anything.
  
• As a part of a marketing deal with General Mills, Nintendo's new system will mark the first time a console has appeared on a box of "Wiities"
  
• Online porn gets an unintentional boost when gamers search the internet for the latest footage of someone playing with their "Wii"
  
• Nintendo has just announced that the Wii controller will be called the Personal Universal System Interface (spell it out people).
  
• Marketing pros at Nintendo decided to use the Wii moniker after deciding that calling the system the Nintendo Phallus was just plain silly.
  
• Sales on the new system are expected to decline quickly once it's discovered that adolescent males are actually going blind by playing with their Wii too much.
  
• Word has leaked out that Nintendo and Microsoft will be hopping into bed with one another in a deal that will allow gamers to plug their Wii directly into a friend's Xbox. If all goes well, the two companies plan to announce the birth of a new handheld within nine months' time.

Think I'm done yet? Not by a long shot people ... we've got a ways to go before the launch, and I'm just getting warmed up.